Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. This article provides general educational information, which should not be construed as professional, medical advice. These are my personal opinions only.
When I was 15 I developed depression and anxiety. I experienced very low moods and felt ‘on edge’ almost constantly as if something terrible were about to happen. Looking back 10 years later, I believe that my depression and anxiety were almost entirely rooted in my mindset and beliefs about myself and the world. Today, I’ve never been happier. In fact, I’d say that I’m one of the happiest people I know. However, nothing in my life has changed to cause this. It’s an inner change that has taken a long time, but it has been worth the wait.
That’s why I’m sitting down now to write the mental health advice I would give myself back then, in case it will help anyone who’s feeling a similar way. These are all things I did myself that contributed to my recovery and lead me to where I am today. As there is quite a lot to say about this topic, this article will be part 1 of a series. In this section, I will focus on the ‘mindset’ aspect of mental health and advice I’d give related to changing your mindset for the better.
As with most things, there is no quick, easy fix for mental ill health. And paradoxically, depression tends to rob us of the motivation to do any hard work, even if we know it will benefit us in the long term. With this in mind, I know these things will be more easily said than done, but that is exactly why we need to do them. Reframing our thoughts and mindset is the first step to summoning the motivation we need to finally stop this negative cycle.
Reframe your mindset
I would argue that mindset is the key, to many things in life, but especially depression. The lenses we view our lives through, whether they’re positive or negative, helpful or unhelpful, can impact everything we do and feel. Without wanting to trivialise it, depression can be compared to a very negative mindset that you feel you can’t escape from. Here are a few tools I’ve used and would recommend to anyone trying to get out of a negative mindset and develop a positive one.
Gratitude
Everyone is talking about practising gratitude these days, and with very good reason. Research has shown that practising gratitude is one of the best things we can do for our happiness. That’s why, although you’ve probably heard this so many times before when looking for mental health advice, I can’t help but include it again in this article.
There are several ways we can practice gratitude in our everyday lives. A common method is keeping a gratitude journal and listing a few things every day that we’re grateful for. Some studies suggest that also including why we’re grateful for these things can boost the emotional benefits of this practice. Alternatively, you could spend time each day contemplating what you’re grateful for or even discussing it with a friend.
Another method of practising gratitude is expressing gratitude to someone else. For example, you might write a letter of gratitude to someone who has positively impacted your life. Write about how much you appreciate them, then, deliver the letter to them in person if possible.
Negative visualisation
Negative visualisation is a practice from Stoic philosophy that can be traced back to the ancient Romans and Greeks. In a way, it is the opposite of gratitude, but it delivers similar benefits. To practice negative visualisation, write about, or contemplate in your own mind, how much worse your life could be. Contemplate how lucky you actually are to, for example, be able to walk, see, or sleep under a roof in your own bed. Human beings are known to adapt to their own circumstances and begin to take them for granted. This is why it’s so important to remember how lucky we are in our own lives and develop a sense of gratitude for what we have.
Contemplate your own death
Although this may sound morbid, and like the last thing you would need if you’re feeling anxious or depressed, it can actually inspire a great sense of gratitude and motivation for life. This is another tool taken from Stoic philosophy, particularly from Roman Emperor and Stoic Marcus Aurelius.
It’s helpful to remember that life is short. One day we will all be dead and we’ll no longer be able to experience all the things that we take for granted every day. Even things as small as going outside and feeling the sun or the wind, or enjoying a hot cup of tea, start to feel magical when you keep in mind the fact that they’re limited. This perspective also reminds us how small and trivial our ‘problems’ are and helps us to stay focused on what’s really important in life.
For a while, I actually wrote this on my to-do list every day and set a timer for 5 minutes to contemplate the fact that I was going to die one day. This always filled me with a sense of gratitude and ‘lightness’ after realising how insignificant all my worries actually were. I still do this from time to time when I feel like I need that reminder again. You could try starting a practice similar to this, or you could find time during your day to remind yourself, even by setting a reminder on your phone if you need to.
Responsibility
The final, and possibly most important mindset shift when it comes to mental health is this: take 100% responsibility for yourself and your life. Don’t let yourself make excuses for why you aren’t doing the things you know you need to do to feel better. It’s hard work, but in the end, only you can help yourself. Take massive action. Exercise, meditate, and practice gratitude as if your life depends on it. Make sure you find the right balance between tough love and self-compassion.
If you’re feeling depressed, anxious, or stuck in a negative mindset, try out some of these exercises and see how they make you feel. Also, if you are struggling with your mental health, you’ll likely find many of the other articles on this site useful. Working on your self-esteem is an essential part of improving the way you feel about and relate to yourself. Find out how to improve your self-esteem here. You can also read about the 5 things you need in your life to feel happy, according to positive psychology.
I learned many of the ideas shared in this article from actualised.org. This is a YouTube channel that I came across when I was going through my own recovery journey and it has made me the person I am today. Have a look at some of the videos relating to depression if you want some extra tough love and motivation! The next part of this ‘Mental Health Advice’ series will be about reframing our thoughts and beliefs, so be sure to come back for part 2 next week!
Great article. A combination of tough love and self
Compassion seems like the best recipe. Thank you.